Time Travel to Now ✨
Whenever I hear multiple important wisdoms within a short period of time, I have a tendency to combine them to make one big Super Wisdom.
Here’s what happened:
A dear friend of mine, Petr Kucheryavyy, told me about when he used to be an end-of-life counselor for Hospice.
After doing it for awhile, he would be able to know instantly whether it would be a peaceful (even joyous!) passing, or a heartbreaking one.
He could tell as soon as the person started talking, based on whether they focused on the THINGS THEY DID, or the THINGS THEY DIDN’T DO.
That’s it.
Reflecting on their life in the affirmative, or in the negation.
“I did this…” “I did that…”
Or:
“I wish I had done this…” “I always wanted to do that…”
And most often, their regrets were because of the fear that stopped them from doing something they always wanted to do.
“I had a really good voice, but I was too scared to ever try to be a singer.”
The negative, regretful passings happened so much more frequently that Petr eventually switched careers. It was just too depressing. 🥺
I heard this at the same time I was reading Annie Duke’s brilliant book Thinking in Bets.
The entire book is fantastic and I highly recommend it, but there’s a particular chapter that caught my attention. It’s all about the Seinfeld dilemma—Night Jerry vs. Morning Jerry.
The quandary is this: Your Present Desires versus Your Future Regrets.
Annie points out that in all the time travel movies, they warn us to not meet other versions of ourselves because the consequences could be disastrous!
But Annie Duke disagrees with Doc Brown. (I know, sacrilegious, but she has a very good point.)
In fact, she says the opposite is true—that we MUST meet our future selves.
Because the only way that Night Jerry and Morning Jerry can ever find peace, is if either Night Jerry has the foresight to travel into the future so he can be empathetic to Morning Jerry, or Morning Jerry travels back in time to persuade Night Jerry to go to bed.
This ability to project ourselves into our future minds is the key to making better decisions now.
At this point, you probably see where I’m going.
Yes, I instantly combined Petr and Annie’s wisdoms to create a time machine that only has one destination: My Future Deathbed Self.
Morbid? Perhaps. But also incredibly important and effective.
Because who better to make your decisions for you now than your future deathbed self? After all, THAT is the only voice you have to contend with.
No matter what your afterlife beliefs are, the final judgement of how you spend this lifetime is the voice inside you, and the sooner you learn to listen to it, rather than ignore it, the better you will feel.
This echoes the same wisdom shared in Pema Chödrön’s wonderful book The Wisdom of No Escape. (And thanks again to my darling oldest BFF, Sara, for giving it to me at the exact moment I needed to read it. ❤️✨)
The point is this: There is no escaping yourself.
You can drug it, drown it, ignore it all you want, but ultimately, this is who you have to reckon with.
Ever since putting together this Super Wisdom, I try my best to make all my decisions based on whether or not my deathbed self would approve. I try to look at my actions and choices through the lens of “Regret or Not Regret?”
It’s not always easy to decipher, but the more I meditate and clear away the distracting woes, the more I hear the voice that knows. 😎
The last time I talked to Petr, I told him I was going to reference him in this article and we dove into a deep conversation, as is our tendency. And then he took it a step further.
He said, “Try to get rid of the time machine and instead realize that YOU are the same YOU that is on your deathbed. There is no separation. You are seeing the world through your deathbed eyes right now.”
Whoa indeed…
So whatever it is that your inner voice has been whispering to you, try your best to hear it. If not for yourself now, do it for yourself in the future.
And let the fear of deathbed regret be the only fear guiding you. ✨
